The Hangover Movie Quotes
The Hangover Movie Quotes – “The Hangover” starring Bradley Cooper,Ed Helms,Zach Galifianakis and Heather Graham is a 2009 comedy film directed by Todd Phillips.The movie which tells the tale of four friends who are visiting Las Vegas for a bachelor party, only to wake up the next morning not remembering a thing and the groom missing,is currently number one in the Box office.Here are some funny quotes from the film.
Sid (Jeffrey Tambor): “Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That s***’ll come back with you.”
Stu: “Am I missing a tooth?”
Phil: “Whose baby is that?”
Alan (Zach Galifianakis): “Check its collar or something.”
Stu: “We’re not going to leave a baby in the room. There’s a f***ing tiger in the bathroom.”
Stu: “She is wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.”
Alan: “I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”
That’s the latest update on The Hangover Movie Quotes.
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Not at the table, Carlos!
Alan: I’m sure you get this a lot, but is there where Ceasar lived?
Receptionist: No
Alan: I didn’t think so.
the cop says: Not you fat Jesus.
What is the baby name says the lady in the elevator then the guy pauses for like 3 seconds and says carlos.
When they all get dressed up for the night and then dumb guy has on a tight shirt and white jeans and a man purse and the other guy says are you kidding me your wearing that .
Ben
“I considered myself to be a, one man wolf pack”
-Alan
Stu- ”Oh my god i just hit the baby with the door.”
Alan- “Shit, are my sun glasses ok?”
Stu: Oh my god oh my god I just nailed the baby
Alan: Are my glasses ok?
Stu: Your glasses are fine
okay Alan is holding the baby
So it’s more along the lines of
Stu: omg you just nailed that baby in the head
Alan: oh no, are my glasses okay?
doctor: oh yeah, of course I know where the chapel is, its on the corner of get a map and fuck off! Y’all are big boys look it up yourslef.
Asain man: suck on my little chinese balls!
Leslie Chow
It’s not illegal, it’s just frowned upon, like masterbating on an airplane
Phil (On cop car’s public announcer): Lady in the red dress, you have a nice rack
its a leopard dress
Chinese guy, while closing the window in his SUV to the three stranded guys: MOTHERFUCKKKEEEEEEEEEEERS
toot a lou Motherfuckers!!!
The name’s LESLIE CHOW
nobody gives a shit what the dude’s name is! Saying the asian guy is enough for anybody who saw the freakin movie.
Mike Tyson: This is my favorite part
Stu (after calming down the crying baby): What the FUCK is happening?
Alan (to Stu’s girlfriend): I am getting my bartender license
Alan- Hey flash your lights or something, let ‘em know it’s on.
Phil- What’s on?
Alan- The deal.
Phil- Of course the deals on we drove 30 fucking miles into the Mojave Desert!
Cop: In the face. Right in the face. He is still walking
(Black Dave) Roofers? What the f**k are roofers?!
roofaline
black doug
black doug
C’mon its perfectly legal like masterbating on an airplane..
Um, Im pretty sure thats illegal also..
Geez, everything was legal before 911, thanks alot Bin Laden
its not illegal, its just frowned upon. like mastrubating on an airplane.
You said he was your lucky charm, and you wanted to take him home with you. lol
Alan- I’m finding your language OFFENSIVE!
Alam” so do you have a pay phone around here? you know my beeper may go off in here” I didn’t see any……….
Is there a phone bank around here…you know a place where there’s a bunch of payphones
Alan- “He died during WWII”
Stu- “oh in battle?”
Alan- “No he was skiing in Vermont, but it was during WWII”
they should call ruffies floor that would be a good name, (fat jesus) they should call them rapies
Black Doug says – they should call roofies floories
Alan says – they should call them rapies
if you’re gonna post a quote please at least know the characters names and what they say dumbass lol
your an idiot, no one cares
Alan: HEY!! There’s Skittles in there!!!
ALAN – Is this facility beeper friendly? Not gettin a sig on my page….
because ppl actually still use beepersss
Alan – “Is that snake skin?”
Alan: Paging Dr. Faggot, paging Dr. Faggot
it was phil who said it and then his b*tch girlfriend said yeah i think thats a good idea dr faggot
What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas. Except herpes, that shit’ll come back with you.
Alan: …Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.
that was hilarious lol
Dude, i can’t be here. I’m not supposed to be within 200 yards of a school…or a chuckie cheese.
I found a baby once
alan- this weekend isn’t good for me, the Jonas Brothers are coming to town
” I’m not allowed within 200 feet of any schools, or chickee cheese.”
chuckee cheese*
Alan- “I’ll punch a old man in public.’
I believe it’s “i’ll hit an old man in public”
what the fuck does it matter the fucking joke still gets across but then queers like you kill it by trying to correct it fucking fruit.
Stu- Not to mention I married a whore!
Alan- watch your mouth she’s a nice lady!
Stu- I married a whore!!
Alan- She’s a nice lady!
Stu- Fuck off, Alan.
Alan- Your language is OFFENSIVE.
Stu- FUCK. YOU.
Phil: are you eating couch pizza?
sofa pizza
queer
Counting cards is not illegal, its frowned upon, like masturbating in an airplane.
-I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, too.
Ugh, yeah ever since 9-11 everyone got so sensitive. Fck you Bin Laden.
it’s “thanks a lot bin ladin”
Little chinese guy : Its funny because he is fat
Alan: its not a purse, its a satchel, and Indiana Jones had one
Alan: “I want to say something, I wrote a little speech on the way down”
“Hello. .. How about that ride in? That’s why they call it sin city”
Alan: “Hi… how bout that ride in? ha thats why they call it sin city!”
Stu: They shot Eddie!!
Melissa: SUCK MY DICK
Alan: No.
no thank you*
He’s a retard.
He was a retard.
He was a what?
A retard, he was a retard.
Should be spelt ritard cause retard is the correct way to spell it
Stu: We’re not gonna leave a baby in the room. There’s a tiger in the bathroom!
Alan to chinese man: I hate Godzilla too!
Why are you in the trunk???
Because you said you were going to take me home for a good luck charm!
Alan: “You guys ready to let the dogs out?!”
Phil: God Damnit!!
Alan: Gosh Darn it.
Phill: Shit!
Alan: Shoot.
one of my favessss!!!!! hahahahah i love alan
Stu (to Alan): “You are literally too stupid to insult.”
Alan: Thank you.
They should call them rapies!
when the cops bust in the room to arrest them for stealing the car, the guy cop is ridiculous. “shut that baby up! shut that baby up right now”
that was frigginggg hilariousssssssss
“This is a toast to a night we’ll never forget”
Alan: I wrote something out, I just wanted to say a few things.
takes out paper
…Hello.
We’re blood brothers!!!
I just added two more people into my wolf pack
Hahahaha Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?
“We are the three best friends that anyone could have! Anyone could have…”
next weekend i cant, the jonas brothers are in town
tigers love pepper, …..they hate cinnamon!
Alan: I remember how sad I was when I lost my grandfather.
Stu: I am sorry to hear that; when did he die?
Alan: World War II
Alan: he was in Vermont skiing…during World War II
“Paging Dr.faggot!”
not at the table carlos!
Alan: Just one more question… And I’m sure you get this a lot, but is this the real ceasars palace?
Lisa (hotel clerk): I’m not sure what your getting at…?
Alan: did caesar actually like live here?
Lisa: No
Alan: Yeah, I didn’t think so.
I remember how sad i was when i lost my grandfather.
I am sorry to hear that, when did he die?
world war 2.
He was in the Army?
No he was skiing in vermont. while world war 2 was going on.
we cant remember anything from last night, remember?!
Alan: “So, I am sure you get this all the time, but is this really Caesar’s Palace, he actually lived here? “
“You’re so stupid that I can’t even insult you.”
“Thank you.”
Your literally to stupid to insult…
Thank you
“NOT AT THE TABLE CARLOS” Alan Garner
“Counting cards isn’t illegal, it’s just highly frowned upon…..like masturbating on a plane. God, people agot so touchy after 9/11…thanks Bin Laden! (Alan)
:How’s my hair? Good….does it look as cool as Phil’s?
“So I hear you like bartenders..”
“Fuck you”
“You know.. I’m studying to get my bartenders degree.”
“Suck my dick.”
“No Thank You”
There’s a JUNGLE CAT in the bathroom!
The guy from rain man, he was a ratard…
he was a RAHTARD
what?
i said he was a RAHDARD
not the purse theres skittles in there!!
YEA BABY
I can be your Doug!
Who is ready to let the dawgs out?
“Rain Man nearly bankrupt an entire casino and he was a rehtard.”
Black Doug- I always wondered why they call them roofies. your more likely to end up on the ground then the roof. They should call them groundies.
Alan – Or Rapizes
I think they should call them rapies- Allen
Alan: Yeah, or rapies.
floories, not groundies
“you are the worst drug dealer ever.”
Stu: “Everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but i think he”s kind of a sweetheart.”
Alan: “I think he’s mean.”
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes…… that shit’ll come back with ya.”
Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.
Wrong Movie, Douche bag.. although that is a great movie.
You, my friend, are the doucher
Alan: “what is this…a snake skin”…..LOL
Stu: “She has the ring that my grandmother survived the holocaust with”.
Alan:”I never knew they gave out rings at the holocaust”.
“she has my grandmother’s holacaust ring.”
“they gave out rings at the holacaust?”
“Not you fat jesus”
Gay Asian – “Tootle Loo, Motherfuckers”
Asian Prick- “Quid Pro Quo…Douche bag”
Mr. Chow
Qruid Pro Qruo… Douche Bag.
(Gotta get that Asian accent!)
Please put some pants on, it’s weird that I have to ask you twice…
pants at a time like this?….i don’t have any pants
who could think of pants at a time like this!
I can’t believe I married a whore…
She’s a very nice lady!!!
“Indiana Jones wore one” – Alan
please put some pants on, i find it wierd i have to ask twice.
rehtard, he was a rehtard.
your not a doctor!?
…Your a dentist
“…I married a hooker!”
“How dare you, she’s a nice lady!”
“Fuck you Alan!”
“Your language is offensive!”
It’s not a purse, it’s a SATCHEL
“And don’t text me…..it’s gay”
Dr. Faggot I think you should go
“Here’s your car officers….”
“Lady in the leopard dress, you have a fantastic rack” (Phil)
Allan: “At 1st I was a lone wolf in a pack…. and then Doug came along which meant that there
were now two wolfs in my wolf pack. I was the first wolf and Doug was the second wolf.
And then there were two more wolfs and I thought ….could this be? Now I know… there
are now four wolfs in my pack.” (Allan pulls out a knife) “Now lets be blood brothers!” (and cuts his hand open)
Stu: “i dont remember… SOMEBODY DRUGGED ME!!”
Alan: “thats one of the side effects of Rufilin… is memory loss”
Stu calming the baby “its ok.. its going to be fine, we’re ok….. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONNNN!!!?!?!?!?!!”
it’s on the corner of get a map and fuck off
“And if you must know he didn’t even cum inside her” -stu
how do u knokw?
She is grossed out be seamen!
Phil : Do you know where that is?
Doctor : Yeah, its on the corner of “Get A Map” and “Go Fuck Yourself”!!!!
Asian: Yeah okay, I take him back right after you suck on these little Chinese nuts.
“Is this hotel pager friendly? Do you have a payphone nearby? Like a group of payphones?”
Actually, the quote is, “Is there a payphone bank close by? You know, like a bunch of payphones.”
Alan: You just pegged the baby in the head with the door!!!!!! Are my sunglasses okay????
Note: “We couldn’t find a parking spot, but here’s four dollars.”
The quote is:
Note: couldn’t find a meter, but here’s four dollars
“That’s a nice car”
“Don’t touch it, don’t look @ it..”
..I will punch an old man in public
does anyone know when the next haleys comet is?
dont you worry your pretty stiped head were gonne get you back to tyson and your cozy tiger bed, then were gone get our best friend doug, and were gonne give him a best friend hug. ROFFFLLL
hey black doug
Tigers like pepper, they don’t like cinnamon.
Tiger love pepper, they hate cinnamon
too da loo motherfukerrrrrrssss!!!!
“Hello… how ’bout that ride in? I guess thats why they call it Sin City ha. ha. You guys might not know this but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So there… there was two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack and Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys I thought “wait a second, could it be?” And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine…
RIDDLE ME THAT!!!
hey! theres skittles in there!
hahaha real funny guys nice shirt , wait are u fucking kiddin me ? your wearing that
“Is this really Caesars Palace?… Like did he really live here?”
The quote is
Alan – This isn’t the real Caesar’s Palace, is it?
Lisa – What do you mean?
Alan – Did…Did uh…Did Caesar live here?
Lisa – No.
Alan – I didn’t think so.
Not at the table, Carlos!
“Alright your next, no not you fat Jesus.”
police officer: You next handsome (to phil)
(Alan walks up)
Police officer: No not you fat Jesus
I think it was more like:
Alright handsome, you next.
No not you fat Jesus.
Quote is:
Alright, handsome youre next. Not you fat jesus!
“I don’t know why they call them roofies, because you always end up on the floor, they should call them floories.” “or rapies!”
Did you hear that? His name is Tyler…but I thought he looked like a Carlos too
The names Chow….Leslie Chow
How dare you! shes a nice lady!
its not a purse…its a satchel..indiana jones wears one
Dr. we dont remember anything from last night. Remember?
were the three best friends that anybody can have….were the three best friends that anybody can have
–Its on..Get a map & fuck off!!
Its:
” Its on the corner of Get a map and Fuck off!”
It’s next to get a map & fuck off. I’m a Dr., not a tour guide.
actually its…its on the corner of get a map and fuck off…im a dr not mapquest
noo actually its tourguide
it is tourguide
you guys are fuckin losers
are you ready to let the dogs out? you know like who let the dogs out who? who?
“Everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he’s kind of a sweetheart.”
What happens in vegas, stays in vegas. Except for herpes, that shit’ll come back with you!
“I’m not suppose to be here” “what?” “I’m not suppose to be with in 200 yards from of a school… or Chucky Cheese!”
the quote is
Did you have to park so close?
Yeah, whats wrong?
Shouldn’t be here.
Why is that Alan?
I’m not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school.
What?
Or a Chucky Chesse.
“Its funny because hes fat”
“Paging doctor Faggot!!”
“suck on these little chinese ballzz ”
ahahha
omg i loved this movie!
rainmain almost wiped out a casino… and hes a raTARD.
we all do some crazy shit when were fucked up
Allan: “None of us remember anything from last night, (chuckle) remember?”
Hes probably in a ditch with a bunch of crystal meth addicts buttfucking his corpse.
i didn’t know they gave rings out at the holocaust
It’s on the corner of find a map and go fuck yourself
Counting card’s isn’t illegal, its frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.
i’m pretty sure thats illegal too..
maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive.
Thanks a lot Bin Laden!
noooo…its…..
Alan-Counting card’s isn’t illegal, its frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.
Stu-i’m pretty sure thats illegal too..
Alan-maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!
thats the same thing moron
thats exactly what the person before you said.
who cares
No wait, No next week isn’t good for me, the Jonas Brothers are in town.”
hahaha.
toodaloo muthafuckaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate Godzilla, too! He’s mean and nasty…..and he destroys your cities!
Alan Garner: Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: I’m not getting a sig’ on my beeper.
Lisa: I’m not sure.
Alan Garner: Is there a payphone bank? Buncha payphones? Business.
Lisa: Umm, there’s a phone in your room…
Alan Garner: That’ll work.
Oh wait..not next week…the Jonas brothers are in town…but any week after that is good
Dr. Faggot
“too da loo, motha fukkaaaaaaaaaaaas”
Stu – “you mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn’t a good guy”
Alan: ” hey, have you ever seen a baby do this?”
im thinking about getting my bar tending license
suck my dick
no thanks
Leslie Chow starts stomping on Alan’s satchel and Alan yells, “What the hell is wrong with you?!?!? There are skittles in that bag!!”.
Talking about Alan:
Doug Billings: Tracy did mention we shouldn’t let him gamble. Or drink too much.
Phil Wenneck: Jesus, he’s like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.
Phil we’re getting married in five days
yeahhh.. that’s not gonna happen
They are getting married in 5 hours
Stu – Okay first of all he was a bartender.
Stu – And she was wasted.
Stu – And if you must know he didn’t even cum inside her.
Phil – And you believe that?
Stu – Eh yeah i do believe that cause she’s grossed out by semen.
wait, i pulled out my own tooth?
Allen: Hey, Does my hair look like Phils?
Stu: Exactly like it.!
Stu Price: They’re really a lot more mature than you think.
Phil Wenneck: [yelling from outside] Paging Doctor Faggot! Paging Doctor Faggot!
Melissa: You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.
The machine message – ”It’s Phil, leave a message. But don’t text me. It’s gay.”
Haha,,best movie ever.
Wow…. i loved the movie but this is overkill. half of these quotes are wrong. and that kills it. just let the people who get payed to say these lines say them. mmmmk thanks.
not (payed) its (paid) you ratard
haha yeh Chance ya fukin idiot!!! ur a tosser!!! its a fukin funny movie.. dont search for movie quotes on the internet then if you dont wanna hear them!! fukin arse wipe!! “payed” haha fukin idiot
you mean, ruh-tard
he was a ratard a what a ratard, retard!!
heheh mispelled word… classic
not ratard- it’s retard… stupidoooo!
you can just get the fuck over it, cuz that is how its spelled in the movie.
LMAO @ Maximus!!!!! THIS MOVIE IS TOTALLY AMAZING SOOOOO HILARIOUS!!!!
Lighten up Chancey….
youre a whore. go shave your back bitch.
HA…you absolute loser!!! chill out its just all in the name of film and fun!
omg pasquale that was so fing funny i almost pissed my pants whe i read that shave your back bitch
this movie was hilarious.. yu should get more quotes!
you are a dumb ass the movie was really good so why dont you go fuck off douche bag
when you do a donkey in the butt it will hurt the butt cause its a guy
and the rabbits george
There’s a fucking tiger in the bathroom! aha.
Fuckingg Statee Of All Yhu Retardds. Get A Fuckingg Life.
why are you tellin everyone to get a life when your on this too? you chimp fuckin little bastard!
You’re a hippo!
dude, all of u that replied to eachother and to the movie quotes, r tards. who gets mad over a movie as great at the hangover? either ur stupid or ur bored when u reply to others.
No, we can’t remember anything from yesterday, remember?
Like to watch Stargate Atlantis episodes and also Lost. I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
“You cant leave a baby in the car”
“Its okay i left the window cracked”
Haha great freakin movie
stu – i wouldn’t know, i don’t REMEMBER
alan – you know, that’s one of the side affects of rufelin, memory loss
stu – you are literally too stupid to insult
alan – thank-you
you know counting cards is illegal right?
counting cards isn’t illegal its frowned upon … like masturbating on a plane
I’m pretty sure thats illegal too
maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks Bin Laden!
I thinked this movie was ok but I didn’t appreciate the racial humor.
Nice Jay & Silent Bob reference… haha. Touche.
give me a break, its a fn movie
hah get the fuck over it loser
Hahahahahahh I thought this movie was fucking intensly hilarious
Even tho that might not be a word lol
you’re an idiot.
great movie….if that’s a word…
der-dink dank bink bonk. err
This movie.
was Great.
people are harsh!!
Ahaha DRIVING DRUNK! Hah classic
Hey all of you gettin all worked up over quotes need to take a rather large black penis in your ass from tyson. And YOU ARE A FAG i hope you realize that you are a fag and that you love dick in and raound your mouth
yeah what he said dick licks
hey people of the world
*nails baby’s head on door*
“are my glasses okay??”
“next week is no good for me. The Jonas Brothers are in town.”
“Its on a corner of ‘get a map’ and fuck off!”
“she’s got my grandmothers haulocaust ring!! I didn’t know they gave out rings in the haulocaust”
peterantelope u suck cock and u like to take rather large black dicks, balls deep in ur ass from tyson and other niggers u faggot
YOU CAN ALL FUCKING EAT SHIT…GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC FAGS
COCK FUCKING ASS CRACKERS
ha ha , funny fay guy fall
its at the corner of get a map and fuck off
i consider myself as a one-man wolf pack (:
its a movie. if you dont like it dont watch it
This movie was probably the funniest one i have seen in a long timeee, it had so many good lines,
-No hunny my friends have grown up since then
-PAGING DOCTOR FAGGOT, DOCTOR FAGGOT
-Doctor faggot you better go.
That’s definitly not how is it is said in the movie, haha.
how bout that ride in
i guess thats why they call it sin city
haha
yea this was a great movie. Alan and the chinese guy was my fav!! =)
I love this movie. Sometimes, I get random texts from my friends and they just say just random ass quotes from this movie. Plus, Phill is fine.
dudes if you don’t like it then dont watch it but we dont give a fuck if you just wanna come on here and complain. Lots of people liked it and don’t give a shit about your opinion so just shut the fuck up cuz we don’t care
hahahaha best movie ever its one these movies everytime i watch it its funnier like that movie precious ahahaha
Go kick rocks! Fools!
juvenille movie for people with 3 brain cells. embarassed for you all.
Alan: “We can’t remember anything..remember”
Stu: “They are mature”
Phil: “Paging Dr. Faggot..Dr. Faggot”
Stu: “I guess i should go”
Mellisa: “Thats a good idea Dr. Faggot”
Alan: “He was a Ra-Tard”
Doug: “Re-Tard!!”
Alan is obviously the best :] but phil is right behind him. I love this movie. Why does everyone get so pissed about damn movie comments who cares if something is spelt wrong. We are humans and we arent perfect. I dont care if someone wrights back to mine saying something stupid or mean i dont care cuz ur just waisting ur time!!
lol i know right